Friday, March 10, 2017

#21 - The Art of the Squeal


So it seems the Republicans are in a bit of a disarray on the best way to repeal and replace Obamacare.  Near as I can tell, there are at least three different factions , maybe four, within the Party with conflicting views on the matter.  It's hard for me to follow everything, who's who, and who believes what.  My program was supposed to be printed by the Congressional Budget Office, but they are in the process of being defunded.

House Speaker Paul Ryan has attributed the divergent opinions to growing pains, now that Republicans control everything.   He noted that they are not used to governing this way.   That's a shame Paul, I didn't think this was going to be so traumatic, maybe you just want to hand Congress back to the Democrats. 

The truth is Paul, I do feel bad for you.  I know you are honestly trying to move the country forward the best way you know how.   And keeping everybody happy is no easy task.  I still have the picture in my mind of your predecessor, former Speaker John Boehner (a good man, and one among a handful of Republicans who would routinely cry at just about any episode of Oprah).  John experienced one of the most privileged moments of his life, when the Pope made a rare visit to Capital Hill in September 2015.  He left that visit a changed man.  The following day, out of the blue, he promptly resigned his powerful position as House Speaker, and left Congress.   The image was iconic. There he was, one of most powerful men in the country, with a huge shit-eatting grin on his face, whistling  Zip-a-Dee-Doo-Dah, down the halls of this great institution as he left.

I guess meeting God, just has that effect on some people

I know Paul, your a bit jealous right now. John's living he good life, caching up in his fly fishing and predicting that the Republicans will never repeal Obamacare, they will just make some fixes to the health care law.

Isn't it nice t to get a little pick-me-up from an old friend? Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, Paul, zip-a-dee-ay

On top of that, while you struggle trying to get everyone in your party to march to the beat of your drum, President Trump (always one step ahead of you) has already announced his Plan B, should you fail.  Apparently the Donald must have been thinking that you should've wrapped up this puppy in a neat bow a day or two after you got the copies off the printer.  Seems  reasonable to me Paul, what's the hold up?

Donald is just taking a play out of his "Art of Deal" playbook.  He's just negotiating.  This cagey veteran of the negotiating table intends to take a hard line position on everything  and then negotiate a middle ground. It is a technique which Donald takes credit for inventing. and which by the way, he is the only person on the planet capable of executing it.  But, you knew this 

His plan B, should you fail, will be to leave Obamacare in place, and then blame the Democrats.  

Brilliant Paul, sheer brilliance. This man's mind works at a level the mere mortals can't comprehend.   While you may believe that his approach contains absolutely nothing to motivate Republicans to come together and form a meaningful consensus, the way you want it, he's already acting like he could care less. Already.  He's advocating a return to the tactics your party has employed for eight years. Do nothing and blame the other guy.  Admit it Paul, you were outflanked. You actually wanted to do stuff, but you're looking pretty naive now. The man is a genius.

So now we know how the story ends, the final piece of the blue print has now been revealed. Donald has now shared his ultimate piece of wisdom.  The secret sauce has been published for everyone to see.   

If you fall flat on your face, just make sure someone else takes the fall.

If you can't do the deal, just do the squeal.

Let's Make America Great Again!  Everyone, all together now.


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